WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW
By Senator Rev. Rubén Díaz
32nd Senatorial District, Bronx County, New York
Serrano v Addabbo – The Battle of the Hair
You should know that here in the New York State Senate, aside from the 62 Senators taking care of the people’s business, voting on the Budget, and proposing pieces of legislation, there is a lot of competition that takes place among the Senators and staff members.
Senators compete against one another about who is the most effective Senator, who is the most serious, who is the most trustworthy, who is the most honest, who passes the most legislation that the Governor signs into law, who fights more for their district and constituents, who is the most vocal, who is the most controversial, who is the one that no one can control and who is the best Republican, Democrat, Liberal or Conservative.
There are also other personal and intimate fights among the 62 Senators and their staff and even members of the press corps sometimes fall into it.
These competitions are silly and even a little ridiculous – especially among the men. These include: who has the best shined shoes, who is the best dressed, who wears the best ties, who uses the most spray bottles of cologne, who is the most eloquent speaker, who is the most intelligent Senator; who is best fit to be the Leader of any Conference, and so on and so on.
But now, my dear reader, you should know, there is a new title to compete for: Who has the best hairdo? The leading contenders in this new division are Senator Jose Serrano and Senator Joseph Addabbo.
I conducted my own poll on this one, and went around asking my colleagues what they thought and who they thought would champion this new distinction. We can see that both Senators Serrano and Addabbo both wear their hair well-groomed; where not a single hair spikes up.
According to Senator Jose Peralta from Queens, it’s a tie. I suppose he knows that it may be better for him to appear impartial because if he chooses Senator Addabbo, who also happens to be from Queens, people might accuse him of siding with a member of the Queens delegation, and if he chooses Senator Serrano, who happens to be a Hispanic like him, people might accuse him of siding with his own race.
When I asked Senator Adriano Espaillat what was his opinion about who wears the best hairdo in the Senate, and told him that he was the tie breaking vote, he voted for Senator Addabbo. Senator Espaillat noted that while Senator Serrano prefers to comb his hair toward the back of his head, Senator Addabbo combs his hair toward his forehead. So yes, we can conclude that Senator Addabbo has won by a hair.
I write this with no hard feelings because knowing that with my kinky hair, I am out of the competition.
I am Senator Rev. Rubén Díaz and this is what you should know.